Rock Guitarist Tour Tale(s).
: from a conversation not so long ago in a band house outside Detroit
Roadie: "You have 5 Marshall amps!"
“Yeah. 2 touring sets still cased down south in South Carolina and the other rig midway in Indianapolis. Both places, North Touring rig, Mid and South touring rig. Way before since Covid”. My longtime guitar tech was sounding perturbed. Damn...
Ive been touring on and off many many years taking time off work here or there. Some impressive acts. Having 2 road case sets of 7-10 with anvil monsters in 2 spots along I-75….you lose track. They've been in and out, air, land and sea-bound since 1974.
Both rigs are 10’ x 12’, keyboards, guitars, synths, pianos, seq, controllers...racks, Crowns stereo amps, Fenders, Marshalls, Acoustics...a Vox somewhere lost I havent seen since 1999... 11 pedals, 3 pedals boards, power conditioners...PLUS steamer trunks, clothes, shoes, toiletries….TIMES TWO! (Also, some Herpes medicine from the late 80’s…)
Playing thru a variety of amps, off in stereo stage rt/stage left with ext cabs, monitors for my rig and mixers...a main amp, off to monitors and boards...so, 1 cab rt, 1 cab lt x 2 sets: =4. Keyboards are 2 4-12 cabs -15’ 3 way spkrs. I count 4!
“So, how do I get 5 Marshall bottoms” I asked. I was afraid to go back in my road receipts and per diem expenses over like...30 years...!!
“One 4-12 is blown up. You kicked the speakers in at that stadium near Calgary Alberta. The RCMP’s showed me n Big Dickie (roadie-dont ask) the door n kicked us to backstage. Couldnt get out front to get it.t. You kicked it out pretty far….!” Damn...
“Guess I should get ‘em back home. Can you call Emory Air Freight? ($1 a pound x 3-400 pounds.) I asked. He was NOT too happy.
“Both places? Now? I shoulda kept my mouth shut! And take ‘em where? Studio? Home storage? You got like 20-25 road cases and trunks in 2 parts of the country!”
“Yes. I know. It was just easier. You know. Time to consolidate down to some resemblance order and simplicity, and off half the stuff. Get it home in one spot.”
“Thats exactly how you got here in the first place! You wanted to consolidate and in doing so you duplicated EVERYTHING to...how’d you say? Keep it simple?! No worries! Guitars n keys, heads, n boxes, glitter stage clothes and violin theory books, amps, Hardy Boys and Playboy books, pedals, cases, Robitussin....all crusty n stuff!" Damn...he was right.
“Ok. Ill get on it and get the stuff northbound. It needs to be gone thru, truss's adjusted, etc. What works n all. And, wheres it all goin’ anyway?”
“Well...it could all go to the back storage barn in Scio?!” I said hopefully quietly.
“Oh, right! MY place….Peachy. Tell the dog! Me n him’ll move over!’”
“Man, we traveled and toured n played. Youve always hooked me up, tuned me up, pumped me up. We have a blast always! I know its a lotta stuff. And I still pay you, rt?” (Besides. Its always gone there since '74. He just bitches...everytime. I had him.
“Great. Like a tire gauge. If its not on tight, you get the wrong air pressure”.
“Exactly! Only with you? Im always flat and you keep me rollin'. Thanks man for keeping my guitars n crap together! Me too!"
“Yeah. All I do...is all I do. For who? YOU. Thats who! I Do for. YOU!”
“I know, it been a bit since the last tour. Nothin shakin', only 3-4 Florida shows in 2022...thats it....So, can you get on it and get things moving up?”
“Sure. You know. Anything. Anytime. Always. Ships 3-days. Ill get on it, sort 'em, I.d and ck off stuff. Be interesting to see in the #1-4 and 12-13 cases from the early 70's....”
“Great. Thanks man. So...until it all gets back up here?” I asked kinda stupidly...
“Can I borrow a pick?” Damn!
*Epilog:
What he doesnt know? That # 8 trunk in Indianapolis? It has dirty laundry in it….from a transvestite lesbian bachelor party stripper. From 2003….!)
