*This Week: April 15th, 2007
"Random thoughts, observations, complaints and concerns while cruisin through Motown."
Hello again my friends! I just had to punch my brakes to the floor and pull over. This week, I've got some things on my mind.
Ok. So, like every day it's been "Tonight on the news, it's another twist to the Anna Nicole Saga" Why? Isn't she still dead? And by now we all know who 'baby mama's daddy is'. That Larry Butt-head guy. And, for sure her son Daniel is still gone, right? Well then...let them rest in peace for God's Sake! And as far as resting goes, the last I knew, Godfather James Brown was still above ground after all these months...no, wait! They DID have a service for him finally. But they put him ABOVE ground temporatliy so they wouldn't have to dig him up again, to move him to a mausuleum, they ain't BUILT yet!
And then there's our sweet n' silly 'Oops! I did it again' girlfriend Britney. The 'look ma, I-cut-off-all-my-hair-and-ain't-wearing-no-panties' diva. Marry an idiot, make some videos stoned, let the baby drive the damn car, divorce the Vanilla Ice-clone, Kevin Fetch-a-line-I'm-throwing-you-a-million-for-divorcing-me' knuclehead...run around with Paris Hilton photographed with yer hey-naa-ny-naa-ny hanging out, buzz the hair from your head, and go into rehab. Check out the next day, go back in later that night, check out again Fri, and back in on Monday finally...geez! I KNOW the girl's got a least a COUPLE of pair of handcuffs around the crib! Couldn't somebody have hooked that girl up?
And then we got Don 'I-must-put-my-foot-up-my-butt' Imus! This senior citizen with the long hair, Beatle boots and cowboy hat, thinks he's some kind of 'brother-man'! Yo! Word! What up?! Well, we'll all tell you Donnie- boy 'what-up'... and IT AIN'T YOU! It's a damn good thing they were ladies. 'Cause if you'd called some BROTHERS 'Nappy-Headed-BROS'...you'd a had laser sights on your genitals, and a whole bunch of 9MM's pointed at you!
My Heavens. Him and the Brown family, and Britney's too, all ride around in limos to one of their 20 houses around the world and act like they belong to the real world like most of us hard working, God-fearing, underpants-wearing, contributing to society, REAL PEOPLE! Well, they don't...and they aren't, and they NEVER WILL speak for me by their actions, reactions, and ways of carrying-on. Hey! I can make myself look bad all by myself thank you.
Let's get a grip America (thank you Bernie Mack). We need to get with it as a society. Help people, not hurt people. Lead by example, not by mistake. I can only imagine now after all those school-girl outfits were sold after Brit's "OOPS!" song....that now, a zillion pre-teen, teen and young woman are all gonna start shaving their heads, stop wearing panties, and look to marry K-Fed defus's! All the rest are gonna start talking like that old -fart Imus. And still, they'll be talking about Anna and James till they re-incarnate back again!
It troubles me that we laugh and joke on the death and trials and tribulations of these representatives of our country. It bothers me that the rest of the world laughs too, because it reflects on the rest of us. Aren't there more important stories to report on? Is there so little out there happening, that we have to over indulge on Anna, Don Imus and Britney? I wish for one day, those 3 wouldn't IN or ON the news. Now that all the Britney, Don and Anna fans are probably out to get me, there's another issue.
It's this Sanjaya thing. How in the heck is he still on American Idol? I mean, don't people have ears? So many good talents have been voted off. And for a 17 year old, no-experienced KID who can barely sing? He just got his driver's license last year! And he can't even vote, join the military, or buy beer. Now, I'm really confused America! .
Yes, I love Britney. And I thought Anna was pretty attractive. Don Imus was often cocky, but now I'm glad he's gone. And James Brown? Bury the man already! Why didn't they at least put him in one of those holes they left all over his property, when they were diggin' for all his money? I am at a loss to understand all this fascination over and over again with the lives of 'celebrities' America.
Ok, so now I'm getting back in my ride, and high tailin' it outta here, Oh, and one last thing. If that Sanjaya kid wins American Idol?...I'm drivin' both me AND the car off the Ambassador Bridge and into the Detroit River! Peace All. Till next week…
Tank's full….revvin' engine….just remember….Keep your hands on the wheel, and your foot to the floor, when you're…."Drivin' Sideways in Detroit !" C'ya!
e-mail to: duanethomas@johnnyandthehurricanes.com
www.drivinsidewaysindetroit.blogspot.com/
*Special Thanks: The "Hurricane Shelter" offices, Sonja Paris, LA Grizzy, Treasure Island Gold's Larry Patterson, Soulful Detroit and Ralph Terrana, Team Detroit, and "Lucky" the Wonder Dog
