Happy Mother's Day to all my friends out there.

My Mother's name is Juanita, and she passed a couple years ago. For my entire life, she and I were best friends till the end. Mom was a character. For no reason, having been a dancer in younger years, she would break into a soft shoe shuffle in a store aisleway. I understood that because her love and history with music, is what got me into the Musicians Union as a semi-professional, at only 13 years of age. When Mom was little, she would sing along with my aunt Jewell who had been a singer and guitar player. As I grew up, Mom and I would crank up the car radio with all the hits of the day. Beach Boys, Everly Brothers, Chuck Berry, you name it, Mom and I sang along with it. And even when she was 80 years old, blind and with Osteoporosis, she would still get up in the middle of the floor and dance to "Wipe Out" by the Safari's or "Louie, Louie" when they would come on the radio. Now THAT'S impressive for an 80 year old!

Whereas she had been through a lot in her time, she always tried to make the best out of each day. I've followed that line of thinking after she passed. Many of the sayings I live by, were words of wisdom that she taught me. They may not have originally come from her, but they may as well have, because I will always hear her voice when I repeat them. Some favorites of hers were "God doesn't place more on us than we can handle" and "God don't make no junk!". She always said "The Lord knows what He's doing, and our's is not to question Him". She was funny at times, and always filled with wisdom.

We got closer after she and my Father were divorced. And even closer after she remarried, and still closer yet, when my stepfather passed. Through it all, we remained best friends. Back-in-the-day, I could even smoke 'herb' around her, she didn't care. And even in her 60's and '70's, she'd say she had a 'contact-buzz'! Even though she didn't drink, her favorite one was a Scareltt Ohara. Southern Comfort and cranberry juice. That fit her perfect. Kin from Arkansas, a little sweet, and tart and snappy sometimes...and with a kick. Mom was my 1st band manager. We were too young to play in bars and nightclubs, but we were so good, we were being booked into them, and needed chaperones to even be in there. One time above most others, comes to mind.

We all had fake union cards back then. I'm not sure how we got them, but we did, and since they were erasable, we'd put our names in, and appear to be members, and of that age. One night we were performing, a Union representative came into the club. He wanted to see us in the kitchen on break. He said he needed to see all of our cards. Ok, no problem. But, he was writing all the info down in a little notebook from each card. Oh-oh! He was gonna check 'em! Mom winked at the guys in the band, and sat with him when we returned on stage. Mother proceeded to buy him drinks, and within a hour or so, he was smashed. From stage we could see he was pretty trashed. Mom said something to the bartender, and the next thing we saw, was a cab driver escorting him along with Mom and the bartender out the door to the taxi. Wow, we thought! He must be really bombed. After the set was over, we told Mom now he probably won't remember anything about us. She said "I know he won't" as she held up his little notebook with all of our 'fake' info in it! "I got his book!" she said proudly. Mom kept buying him rounds till she could get the book from him when he wasnt looking. Way to go Mom!

Nobody scared Mom, even though she was about 4'11" when she passed away. She could and would, get up into anybody's face if she had to and say, "Listen BUSTER! You not too big for me to knock the s--t outta you!" And she meant it, and could do it too. She'd also say, "People in Hell want ice water, and they ain't gettin' it either!" or "You can just s--t and fall back in it!" Another couple of of her favorite sayings about complaining were "The squeeking wheel gets the grease" and "Waitin's what broke the wagon down". It seems she always had a saying or two ready . As it turned out, most of them were philisophical, and I came to live by the good ones.
With cancer and all of Mom's illnesses, she never complained beyond the everyday complaints old folks have.She just accepted it. She'd also say "Ours is not to reason why" and "The Lord knows what he's doin'". "Don't worry, God has a plan. We're not supposed to question Him". Since she's been gone, I've tried if not to start over, to go forward. I knew I had to try and make the best out of my own life afterwards. And I've tried. But, I miss her voice, one I'd hear everday. I would call her every single day from whereever I was around the country or out of it, without fail. And I never stopped telling her I loved her, and she'd tell me the same thing. After caring for her 100% of the time, and cooking and cleaning and cutting her nails and using the remote contol for her, I had a stroke when she passed away. Either from the strain of caring for her, or the fact that she would be gone, till I cross over and see her again. I guess it was time for her to go, and me to go on. So I have. But not a day goes by without thinking about her.

I still miss her yelling at me when I needed it, and praising me when I didn't. She sacrificed all for me growing up, and did without, so I could have. She brought me up, so I never let her down. I thought I had, but she reassured me often, that she couldn't have asked for a better son. Still I wish I could have been one,and did more for her. She assured me that not many other son's would've given up that much to care for their 'ole mama'. I told her that many have, and would continue, and I was just like many. She would add to that with yet another saying..."No, my child...you are not like many...you're not like ANY!" But, that was her way. Always with the phrases. And in those last days, she said she's never be far away, just beyond the vail where we can't see through. She's there, I know it.

After all we'd been through, and after caring for her 24/7 for a couple of her last years straight, I still can't bring myself to go past her house. I guess I think I'd still see her sitting in the window looking out to the street. I know thats not rational, but I think maybe I'd feel that she's still here, and I know she is not. I miss her terribly, and think of her often throughout the course of the day. I always will till I see her again. My friends, this Mother's day in America, and elsewhere around the world, honor your Mothers wherever they may be. A card, a call a letter or a visit, but do it. Some of us can't, because they are gone and just a wonderful memory. Today, this is my way of remembering my Mom, and trying to not think of all the painful health and personal issues she had throughout her life. I want to stress the good ones, and the funny ones.

I'll always remember her walking up to me with her 4'11 frame and looking up into my 6' tall eyes and saying..."Don't forget yo' mama!" I won't Mom. I couldn't possibly forget you. And at those times like now, when I feel sad and lost without her guiding words, she still has left something to help me get through the pain and heartache that can only be felt by losing one's Mother. "Don't worry my child....this too, shall pass". Thanks Mom, I won't.

I love you Mom. Happy Mother's day.

Take care all...Keep your foot on the floor and your hands on the wheel, when your'e....."Drivin' Sideways in Detroit!"

*Special Thanks to: Juanita, my Mom, Team Detroit, The Hurricane Shelter, La Grizzy, Sonja Paris, Larry Patterson and Treasure Island Gold, Ralph Terrana and the Soulful Detroit Music Forums, and "Lucky" the Wonder-Dog