"Drivin' Sideways...(SLOWLY in a Funeral) in Detroit!"
Ah, life and death my brothers and sisters. We can't have one without the other.
William Higdon, my father-in-law, City of Dearborn Michigan Civil Engineer (retired), card player, American Legion Post Chaplain, phenomenal gardener-landscaper, fantastic husband and father and father in law...and just all-around great guy, passed away last week after a brief illness. It hit all of us very hard. I figured this week I'd take time and talk about the awesome funeral we had for him in celebration of his life. We had the Spirit of Detroit all female accapella chorus sing, had a black Reverend, his senior citizens friends and card playing buddies, and a slew of leather-clad bikers from Warrior Ministries "Jesus Rocks!" group, Pastor-friends of my wife and I, who ride Harleys for Jesus. When they walked into the funeral home, you could see all the seniors reaching for their wallets and heart medicines! It was a sight for sure.
There should always be some happiness with the end of a loved one, to help balance out the sadness we all feel. We laughed, we cried, and we shared happy memories of Dad's life. Like when I first met him, the father of the girl I was living with (in sin). It was over 20 years ago, and he wasnt happy with my wife, then girlfriend, spending nights at my house. After his bowling nights, and bolstered by a few beers, he would call my house and demand she 'come home right now". My darlin' was over 21 so of course she never did go home, and we've been husband and wife for many years now. But that 1st meeting was one for the history books. She introduced us in his garage and he said "Hi...sorry I can't shake your hand, but I got cement on mine". When I asked him what he was doing, he responded with "Im making rocks!" Confused, I looked at my wife and whispered "I think theres something wrong with your Dad". Making rocks? But, thats exactly what he was doing.
Dad had gotten the idea of nailing pieces of wood together with some chicken wire and paper mache, and with some grey spray paint, was actually MAKING ROCKS for the garden! Adding a fish tank pump, he created a waterfall as well. I was amazed at his creativity. One of the rocks he made later was too big to get out the the garage! Dad was original with a capitol "O". He also made stained glass for each of the basement windows, and bricked the walls down there by sliding real bricks through the window to my wife and her brother when they were little. He also would gather Petosky stones from Torch Lake in Upper Michigan and polish them to make things with.
In the later years of his life , I thought he was slipping again when I asked him one afternoon what he was up to now. He was in the garage again (uh-oh!) cutting a bowling ball into 2 halfs....BY HAND. 72 years old, and the man is sawing bowling balls! Each half he would later paint red and black with eyes to look like a Lady-Bug for the gardens of each of us in the family and a few friends. I said a capitol "O" for originality, didnt I?! I made sure I snuck 2 of the "lady-bugs' into the funeral home, and place one on each side of him there so people could see how creative he really was. They brought a smile and tear to all, as no one expected me to get them in there. I know it helped the grieving a little. Along with his beautiful yard with little bridges and ponds, landscaping and those lady-bugs...I guess Ive got a lot of upkeep ahead of me to maintain for him. I'll try, but it'll never be as good a job as he did. Yep, my father-in-law was a one-of-kind alright.
When I knew he was terminally ill, I was inspired to write some lyrics (or poem, whichever you prefer) for my wife, as though from him, through me, to try an make her feel just a little bit better. It is called "This is not Goodbye" and the transcript follows below.
"This is not Goodbye"
Just want to write some lines, before I have to go,
I know that you'll be fine, so I have to let you know,
all things have a time, and life must run it's course,
like rivers and the tides, flows in and out in force,
dont shed too many tears, I don't want you to cry,
for it's you who remains, to take my place in line,
as my candle darkens, hold on to it's faint light,
I'll never flicker out, for this is not goodbye
Seasons have an ending, that begins anew again,
they melt into a another, that's come and gone and went,
and in them find new meanings, for why we live and die,
turn pages of my story, ours' not to reason why
try and find some meaning, in all Ive helped you through,
and think of all the good times, thats between me n you,
don't worry where I'm going, where it is I'll be just fine,
Ill see you on the other side, for this is not goodbye
This is not goodbye, and you don't have to cry,
we all must pass away, onto the other side,
see love is never ending, but grows more over time,
though we may be apart, just across the line
Ill be here always, look in your heart to find,
I've never really left you, you'll see the reason why,
its like that change of seasons, a tear within your eye,
I'll be gone just a moment, for this is not goodbye,
...this is not goodbye!
(Duane Thomas 5-19-07)
He will be sadly missed. But, like the note my own mother left me I found after she passed away said..."Dont think of me as gone...just away for now....we'll be together again, I promise" And my mother never lied.
Have a great week my friends...and tell those that you love, that you do. Peace all....
*Special Thanks to: William B. Higdon, The Hurricane Shelter, Team Detroit, Pator Jack Yaeger and Warrior Ministries, La Grizzy, Sonja Paris, Larry Patterson and Treasure Island Gold, "Jake' and "Lucky" the Wonder Dog!
